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Deliberation by Mario S. Nevado

“Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.”
― Adyashanti

Awakening is not a walk in the park. It is a ride through hell. It is the tearing down of all of your cherished beliefs and everything you thought about yourself. There is no way around this. We must come face to face with our shadows. It is there that our false ideas of who we are are shattered. It is there that all of our false beliefs are destroyed. We must face these false notions and see them for what they are. This is the only way to heal, to become whole again, to live in integrity.

exploded_mindIt is a complete surrender, a process of brutal self honesty. It is a path of complete acceptance of the truth, no matter how difficult it is to bear. We go through life with so many false notions – of the world, of spirituality and of ourselves. We build up masks and we believe the facades. It’s all a charade. It is all based upon illusions and deceit. We deceive ourselves at every moment, and the world also deceives us at every moment. We live in perpetual cognitive dissonance, justifying the most absurd things in our minds. We constantly lie to ourselves…. and we believe it. To awaken to the truth that you seek, you must tear down the lies. But we are too attached to the lies. We want to hold on to the illusions and to become enlightened at the same time. That is not possible. But there are hundreds of phony gurus and “spiritual teachers” that will tell you it is. They offer you processes to become happy, fulfilled, calm, find your soulmate, be positive, get the right job, make lots of money, balance the chakras, become healthy and whatever else you may be desiring. This has nothing to do with awakening. This is only polishing the ego. They all lead you right back into the matrix. You may even be lucky enough to get a golden cage, but it is still a cage, and you remain imprisoned in slavery. This is the road that most people choose to follow. This road is well traveled by the herd.

It takes courage, discernment and self honesty to walk the road to truth and freedom. Not many people have that. We have been weakened by the onslaught of programming since our childhood. Most people want to remain in the herd, as they find comfort in the company of other deluded souls. It takes a certain individual to break free of the herd. The Siddhartha road is not easy. It is a treacherous road that will shatter every part of your existence. No, it takes a certain type of person to walk that road; a person that is willing to give up everything to find his true Self.

But when you do awaken, and you do see the world with new eyes, you soon realize that no one else is seeing the same thing. I tried to tell a few people what had happened to me, but no one believed me. They thought that perhaps I cracked under the pressure of suffering and had gone crazy. No one wanted to hear anything I said, as it exposed their false beliefs. So I remained quiet for eight years.


“I awoke, only to find the rest of the world still sleeping.”
– Leonardo daVinci

When one decides to take the Siddhartha road to the Self, he soon realizes he is alone on that road. The herd is going in the opposite direction. One must be prepared for that, to find comfort in being alone, not understood by others.

As Eckhart Tolle has stated, you don’t have to wait for the dark night of the soul to dismantle your false notions, your false self, your life story. You can consciously take that road. But it demands courage, discernment, and a brutal honesty of yourself. The mind is a very tricky opponent, and will deceive you at every step, as your awakening is the end of its control over you. But it can be done. Nisargadatta Maharaj did it. You must simply allow Grace to act within you.

“As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.”
– Eckhart Tolle

So the choice rests with each of you. No one can do this for you. All I, or anyone else, can offer you are sign posts, pointing in the direction. But you, and you alone, must take that road. It does little good to read my writings and not act upon them, to not take that road yourself. Otherwise, you are only hanging out at the signposts, believing that you have already arrived at the destination.


This road is not for the timid or the faint of heart. not at all. But there is no other road. No one will simply wave a magical wand over you. It is a road of destruction and the question is, “How much are you willing to give up? How much can you endure?” Because on this road, you must give up everything. Every piece of you will shatter. Can you endure that? As the great Bhaktivinode Thakur has written, “You must die to live.” So how serious are you? How much do you want it? How much will you pay for it?

This article is adapted from Awakening is a Destructive Process by Greg Calise

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6 Responses to “You Must Die to Live”

  1. June 24, 2016 at 1:05 pm, danishgirl said:

    Thank you for the frankness of this article.I personally have come to the conclusion that I did not seek this path, but it sought me. I would be interested in your thoughts on this matter,

  2. July 03, 2016 at 2:45 pm, mikecanaway said:

    “Liberation is not the result of some means skilfully applied, nor of circumstances. It is beyond the causal process. Nothing can compel it, nothing can prevent it.”
    Nisargadatta Maharaj, I am that, Section 88.

  3. July 05, 2016 at 8:10 am, amandablueleigh said:

    This is very true for me … in the past it has been a ‘hero’s journey’, I have walked my own path for ,many years, since I left home at 15, these days 40 years later, more of a cockroach journey … in the midst of many great blessings of family, friends & meaningful work … ‘love’ itself is coming into question … Love doesn’t feel true either … I know I care, but I’m not sure that it is love … more of an emptiness, an abyss of all that is true, even love … I am staying with it … Does
    anyone relate?

  4. July 05, 2016 at 1:39 pm, Divav2016 said:

    I really liked reading this article… All the way until it starts talking about the Siddhartha path. Then it starts to sounds preachy, elitist and spiritually superior. He goes from making what felt like core truth statements to “you have tos” and “musts” as well as the promise that we have to go alone because no one will understand… Hmmm.. This article is doing, in my opinion, exactly what the bad gurus and spiritual teachers that he condemns do… And to say that the path to awakening and enlightenment is totally isolating is not truth. I understand that we each have our personal process but we who choose to awaken are here to support each other and anyone we touch as well as be supported by those in a different path. I have so many soul friends who support me on my path even tho I am essentially alone. I actually feel sad when I see this kind of thing because there is so much truth in his message yet is laced with a negativity and manipulative language. It reminds me of what I’ve been studying recently about covert narcissism and gaslighting. He’s saying not to trust any other teachers or gurus and no one else will understand you either. You’re all alone in this hell.. So who does that leave? Him!! He is covertly making himself out to be the almighty and instilling this belief that we are all alone and isolated and no one gets us except him. But he won’t be there either if you need him because he’s already told you you’re all alone… That’s the gaslighting. He wants you to need him for all his infinite wisdom but never actually be there for you so he can just get his narcissistic supply from all his readers writing him to tell him how wise he is. Yuck. I see this so much more clearly now after decades of being charmed by this kind of dazzling language and I have to say, beware!! Beware of anyone telling you what you must do and the you are alone. We are not alone. The connectivity of the human race is fundamental to our path to enlightenment. We need to be more humble, not more self righteous about how we are separate. Just because we are all going at different paces and some with different heards does not make anyone better. I suggest spending more time listening to JP Sears talk about the dangers of spiritual arrogance than letting this kind of isolating self righteous language go to your heart. It doesn’t leave me feel more open and connected… Big red flag.

  5. July 06, 2016 at 4:51 pm, Nothing said:

    I sincerely disagree with Divav2016… Did you read the article or did you decide its a red flag based on your preference for JP Sears and in doing that your suggestion that people should adhere to his “spiritually superior ” teachings about spiritual arrogance?  Firstly… the siddartha path refers to the road of trials… So although it might SOUND preachy it is infact very relevant if you actually read what you were reading and understand the meaning of the word trial not mention the word arrogance. Secondly… He doesnt tell anyone what they must or musn’t do nor does he ever refer to himself as almighty, infact quite the opposite. He’s explaining that when you become aware and awaken you find yourself alone because people like yourself dont listen to or actually read anything he has to say because of your ‘false beliefs’ , inability to read and your preference for preaching humility despite your contradiction to being ‘preachy’ . I could go on, but in all honesty I have to be honest with myself and reckognize I’m probably waisting my time. At the end of the day I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for and that you experience whatever it is that sets you free. Good luck

  6. November 17, 2018 at 6:27 pm, Jake kenner said:

    The Whole Story of Spiritual Awakening and Enlightenment from a Scientific and Modern Physics Perspective. Nothing Left Out. Really. Check It Out.

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