Nothing Will Ever Fulfill You

Art: stained glass by Iris

Let the Mother wash away all your small dreams of transcendence. Rest into the discomfort of incompleteness, the imperfection of this mundane world. Of our ordinary life with its ordinary pains and it’s ordinary joys. There is no escape from this condition. Nothing will ever fulfill you. Nothing. Feel the hopelessness from which truth sprouts, the blessed poverty that redeems. Offer it all up to God. Nothing less passes through the eye of the Needle. And She can’t use you until you do. That’s all. Not manifest this or that. Your soulmate, your success, your awakening. Your dreams of power. Give up your gain. Die to all you cleave. Give way, give in, consent to Her will. And wait. There is no security. No protection. No bargain you can make.

Let God have you utterly, utterly. Let it be a bloody mess. This is the mystery school. The face of the Black Madonna. Let life have you. Strip you to the bone until the dark radiance of the soul is all you hallow. You will lose everything. Let it bring you lower, through the wound, heart to the ground till you are enthroned in the Queendom of Heaven everywhere. You are already all you seek. Let’s grow up. There is nowhere to run from this moment. There is nowhere to run from your self. There is nowhere to run from one another. We will never be improved enough, healed enough, deserving enough, unless we die to all the fuckery we demand and let Life have us. Right here. Radical kenosis. No salvation. Nothing to alleviate the chaos and confusion and vulnerability of incarnation but our own tenderhearted presence. Nothing to humble our generous entanglement with everything.

And so no don’t manifest some quantum wonderland. Instead stay. And may God break in. How are we to know how She would use us if we are only wholly hollow? Empty in God. The Kotske Rabbi asks, Where is God to be found? At the place where She is given an entry. So say yes. Consent. Let Her in. And let her have Her way. Today and everyday. Give up all you most loathe to give. And give God entry.


Vera de Chalambert, MTS, is a spiritual storyteller and scholar of comparative religion. She speaks and writes about spiritual culture, mindfulness and the emergence of the feminine, and her work explores the meeting place of creativity, psychology and spirituality. She holds a Master’s degree from Harvard Divinity School and is deeply influenced by Buddhist and Kabbalistic lineages. She offers spiritual direction and works with people in times of dissolution, transition and transformation.

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